I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize