Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Randomize
