Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
