it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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