She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
