I hate all girls vehemently.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
