kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
