I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize