Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
