Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
