I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
