Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She is in my trunk
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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