I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize