i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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