So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I think I died a long time ago.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
