Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
