he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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