At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
