I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
