Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
