i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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