yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
