Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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