She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
