I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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