can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
