no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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