My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize