I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize