google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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