can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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