So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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