I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
