i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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