i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
