its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
