Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Your penis caused this!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
