508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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