we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
