Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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