member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize