bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
