Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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