you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
