Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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