he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
