all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
