i permit you to call me
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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