But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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