Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
