I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
