...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
