wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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