That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
