its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I love you. Go after that dick
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize